PAT VENDITTE — AMBI MAN

PAT VENDITTE

(6.05 No.63 — 162 Baseball Poems 2015)

By Steve Hermanos

His grotesque mitt,
A thumb on one side,
A thumb on the other—
Elephantmanish!

He holds out his bare hand,
Telling the ump:
I’m using this side o’ my body,
To sling at the batter,
Maybe I’ll switch,
For the next;

To pitch a baseball at 90 MPH
Across the strike zone,
And miss batters’ bats
is of course nearly impossible,
That’s why I clank these computer keys,
’cause I can’t
Just Do It;

But that ability
Lefty AND AND AND righty?!

2 innings, 1 hit, 0 runs, 1 strikeout;
Abundant entertainment;

Please, Pat Venditte,
Don’t slide down to the minors,
Stick up here,
So I can get over to Oakland and watch you do your thang,
Adding a new dimension,
To our zillion-sided game.

—end of poem

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